So....

We got the power source and well, we have to replace a bracket. So, that will all get sorted out soon hopefully. In the next couple of days I'll break down and do a real update. Tomorrow I'm piecing together my Clutch costume for free comic book day, a guy I'm going with is dressing up like Storm Shadow. Saturday is free comic book day and hopefully Shane will stop being a wiener and dress up like Shipwreck like I'm suggesting. After that I'm working on my storm trooper armor so probably Sunday if I feel like it.

This might be a jinx...

But what the hell. Here's what I've been working on:



Ahhh, unemployment!

WHERE'S MY SON?!

Will Forte is a pretty funny guy for a modern SNL dude.

A quick one

The power supply will be here Wednesday, let's hope my DVD pack number 5, Falcon custom cast head and hall of heroes figures come by then too.

Updates on my end

Well, the computer I usually use crapped out. The power supply died so we're waiting for a new one to come in the mail. I'm on my girlfriends laptop right now, I don't really have the patience to update on here so I'll be updating a bunch when we get the other computer up and running. For now, time to end the week with some beers.

Auto-Tune: What you need to know, in song.

Thanks to Steve for pointing this out for us.

Believe in your own Justice!

I can't believe I've never heard of this game before today...

Monsters

What is a monster? And here I’m not referring to specific examples, but the concept of monster itself. The word has a few connotations. Sometimes we refer to large animals as “Monsters” (this is especially true of fishermen). You’ll also occasionally hear of a company being referred to as a “Monster” because of it’s success and power. Finally there is the classic definition of the word, the one I want to deal with here.
“Monster (n): one who deviates from normal or acceptable behavior or character”
Monsters are abnormalities, deviations. Always set against the norm, the monstrous threatens from the shadows. For at least as long as humans have been writing, there have been monsters. Those lurking things in the dark that strike terror in the minds of rational humanity. Why has mankind, for as far back as anyone can remember, been plagued by visions of teeth and claws?
Simple, it’s all a matter of brain structure. As we have evolved as a species, we have not been lost a single instinct or drive. The system of our brains have become more and more complex, but we haven’t been replacing old parts. This being the case, we still have our rational human brain matter cocoons the more primitive primate brain, which in turn encases the next level all the way down to the most simple part, the reptile brain.
Anything with a brain knows to be weary of threats. And if you’re eye dependant, like we are, things like the darkness are thought of as a threat (at least potentially). We don’t know what lurks there, we have our fear response, that which gets us ready to fight the danger or run away. But this simple reaction is not enough for our more complex brains. Part of being a rational creature is the need to rationalize. So, instead of simply a shadowy forest that should cause us to be cautious, our minds are beset by thoughts of teeth, claws, eyes, etc. We invent things to populate not only the forest, but our cultural imagination.
This brief history, I feel, is a very simple sketch of why we have the basic concept of monsters. Our primitive minds create the fear response, our rational minds invent something to go along with it. Now, not only do we have to be on the watch for things like lions, tigers, bears, etc. but also trolls, goblins, werewolves and vampires.
But monsters in human culture have another function to serve, and I think it’s one that some modern people may have forgotten. Lets look at a basic example just to illustrate my point: The Succubus.
Yes, it’s a demon-woman who will slowly draw out your life-force, damning you to death or hell or both. But there also a built in morality lesson: Watch out for loose women. Both the succubus (and her male counterpart the incubus) are handy legends to remind people about a moral failing.
Now, I don’t mean to say that people these days don’t realize what the incubus/succubus stories are really talking about (don’t have sex outside of marriage). What I am saying is that we seem to have forgotten the lesson of other monsters.
Most notably: Vampires.
What is a vampire? The definition has seem to have gotten murky in recent years. Sometimes, such as in a recent Stephen Segal movie, the creators seem to have vampires confused for zombies. Lets begin with some of the safer assumptions and work our way from there;
1) Vampires drink blood.
One constant that I believe everyone can agree on is the connection between vampires and human blood. Other monsters, too, are concerned with blood, but never to the degree of the vampire. This is most likely because blood is one of our most ready metaphors for life itself. Without blood, we die. Thus, we hold blood with special importance, because we hold life with special importance.
2) Vampires are nocturnal.
Another safe assumption, and an easy one to explain. Things are scarier in the dark, so this is where we place most of our monsters. But with the vampire especially, the night is important. So much so that they are physically hurt (or killed) by any kind of sunlight. Thus, we get the image of the dusty vampire lord, sleeping during the day to go out and feast at night.
The next bullet point is one that isn’t nearly as stressed in recent times. In fact, I would say, that it has been totally forgotten as a part of vampire mythos.
3) Vampires are solitary.
Nosferatu is an easy example with this one. Classic vampires acted alone. They might use hypnotism and the like to hold sway over people to get them to do what they want. But there was only one real vampire. Even in the case of Dracula, you got thralls but one vampire. More recent incarnations of vampires have seen them form groups, cities, even nations. To me, this forgets the ultimate lesson of the vampire which can be summed up easily:
Vampires are the ultimate sociopaths.
These are monsters, lets not forget. I feel that when we forget this fact, even the terrifying vampire is transformed into nothing more than a normal human who has an odd diet and doesn’t tan particularly well. Monsters represent what we fear, and the vampire represents one of the most prevalent fears: The consummate liar.
Vampires do what they need to, to get what they want. They feel no love for others, no compassion. Everything in existence is either a goal, or a tool. They will pretend to be whatever you want them to be, until the moment you are no longer useful or entertaining. Vampires can even create “other vampires” with their famous bite, but ultimately they are just mind-controlled pawns to sacrifice as need be. And the thing that a true vampire hates above all, is another true vampire. Like all great narcissists, they cannot stand narcissism in others (after all, it’s not all about you it’s all about me!)
And it is because of all these things, that we fear them. Not only because we sometimes worry if people are really as genuine as they say, but also for a much deeper reason. How often are you tempted to tell a little lie just to get what you want? Treating people as tools is far easier than some people like to admit. The road of the vampire is an easy one to stumble down.
Honestly, its easy to see how the vampire has transformed from actual monster to dark anti-hero. Part of the vampire’s very essence is the ability to deceive, to become what we want it to be. And this is the dangerous part. Some monsters, but vampires especially, are starting to gain a certain mystique. A dangerous attractive quality that many people have latched onto.
Today’s vampire is a far cry from count Orlok. They have become the ally, the antihero and in some cases, the love interest. This would just not be possible if the sociopath tendencies were still alive in the mythos.
To conclude, I don’t presume to be the end-all expert of vampires (or other monsters). This argument consists of just my opinion. I understand that, much like what happened to our idea of the super hero, our conception of monsters has grown more complex over the years. What was once an utter monster, has be re-imagined to something more sympathetic. This is just a product of post-modernism. I’m not suggesting that we abandon this new conception and return to an older one. I simply thing that the allegory of the vampire as a sociopath is just too good a metaphor to destroy all together.

May the hair on his toes never fall off!

Since I missed last weeks article due to neglect and lord of the rings online, this week I've decided to do two movies. One has been a favorite since childhood the other I hadn't seen until recently but they're both connected. The first I had seen on the Disney channel and that in it's self makes this movie different than other movies I've "showcased" I tend to mention obscure or violent movies. But this is far from that. This movie was my first introduction in to what would become one of my favorite, if not my favorite book. I've also already posted a clip of this movie before. The animated Hobbit from 1977 is one of my favorite animated movies. It has that Rank-Bass charm and flare that I love. Even with the Peter Jackson incarnation of middle earth it's hard for me not to picture middle earth as drawn by Rankin-Bass. Since this was a made for tv movie, as far as I know there's no trailer. As cheesy as the music was in this movie, it's fucking awesome.

I've already posted one of my favorite scenes a month or so ago and it's actually easier to find the whole movie on youtube rather than specific scenes.

The second movie is Ralph Bakshi's lord of the rings. Now this is a curious movie indeed. Since the 50's people had been trying to make the lord of the rings in to a movie, including John Boorman of Deliverance, Zardoz and Excalibur fame though his version sounded um fucking crazy. The Beatles even were trying to get their hands on the rights to make the movie but scripting problems made it fall through. Bakshi finally talked a production company in to allowing him to do it, stating he could do it much better in animation. That in it's self caused a lot of uproar because most people don't think the lord of the rings should be animated. But Bakshi, he did what he's famous for, and he rotoscoped. I'm a big Bakshi fan even though I hate rotoscoping, but he can pull it off well in his animations. Lord of the rings is often hit or miss with it's rotoscoping, some scenes are amazing and the attention to detail is awe inspiring, sometimes it's terrible especially the finally scene. But, that scene was paid for out of his own pocket due to under funding by the company. Also, this movie is only half of the entire story, yeah it kind of sucks in that aspect. He wanted dearly to do three movies, but the company wanted him to do one. He talked them in to allowing him to do two. The company also refused title the movie Lord of the rings part 1 as they felt no one would pay to see only half of the story. But because of this alot of people thought they were coming in to the theatre seeing the whole story and leaving pissed as hell. Bakshi just didn't have it in him to finish the other half with the company shitting all over his project and the animation it's self draining him. I really wish he would have been able to finish the story. This film atcually introduced Peter Jackson to the lord of the rings and he homaged some scenes from Bakshi's version in the live action movie, Proudfeet anyone? So as bizarre and weird this version is sometimes, without it Jackson's version would never have been made. I feel it's an awesome addition to the Tolkien media. Though a lot of people would disagree and tell me I'm a fucking idiot for feeling that way. I could also point out to those people that they probably don't know who the fuck Tom Bombadil is, though he wasn't in this version either.
This is the only trailer I can find, kind of goofy

This movie is also hard to find clips of, it's easier just to find the whole damn movie. Most people take clips and put the Jackson audio over it and I dunno how I feel about that.
This clip though I feel shows the good and the bad of this movie animation wise. Also if you're familiar with the books and wondered why Jackson changed this part of it in the movie, he was string influenced by this scene.

and then last but not least this

Rock And Roll

Can you even handle my status as a Rock'n'roll God?

I submit that you cannot.

PS: New header image, did you notice? I bet you didn't since it's so hard to see...)

Well here we go again...

Shane and I have been spending most of our free time doing one thing and that one things is this....

Since I don't know the name of the song I was looking for, I decided to post this version...again.

We've been playing lord of the rings online, where I farm weed and brew my own alcohol and drink until I get drunk as fuck and smoke. This is just a taste of what it's like when you're drunk.














We've rather been enjoying it and just recruited our friend Matt.

HAPPY EASTER!

Never seen it, but if you happen to, let me know!

Don't hate the player...

...hate the game:

How old is this joke? Who cares!

The Setup:
http://horribleville.com/d/20060702.html

My Punchline:
http://i302.photobucket.com/albums/nn98/Manchu4you/Ross_Dickbutt.jpg

That's what I did today. And I didn't waste any paper!

Nightman

Every night when I'm talking to Shane and we're getting off Steam, the messenger we use, he says night man and it always reminds me of this and I want to send it to him but he logs off too quick. So night man indeed.

Sadly, this is one of the better quality ones now.

Been too long since I last posted a good hip hop song

Punch for Victory!

Here's another gem I pooped out:

I will not be qouting this movie at this moment

Ok, this movie was one of the reasons I decided to do the "vault" I also decided early on I would wait a long time before doing it. But I noticed the other night we were on our 99th post, which I thought was my 100th post at first, and I wanted to do something big to celebrate the "100th". Well, this post will actually be a out 102nd post but it's still apart of the non-celebrated celebration here. This movie is one of several that I have vivid memory of as a child, around the age of four or five. I loved it then and I love it now, there was a middle ground where I kind of forgot about it. I remembered it well but didn't watch it, I only ever saw it on fox saturtday afternoons and even as I kid I refused to watch movies with commercials and that were cut so I didn't sit down and watch it again until awhile ago when I could view it uncut. Since that viewing, I decided this movie had a huge impact on who I am. Not necessarly as a person, but the things I like an enjoy. I also am some what surprised at how often I viewed this one and the sequal as a child. I remember one time when I was watching the second one of these movies and I made a lego figure of the hero and blasted everyone away. I've watched this movie probably a dozen times in the last eight months alone. I present you one of my favorite movies ever, Peter Weller's greatest roll, Robocop.

many of my friends and I qoute this movie often, almost daily. We make references to it and state out love of it constatntly. Clarence Boddikerk is also one of my favorite villians ever and him also being Red Forman later in his career only makes me love him more.


Cool little documentary

And lastly, as much as I love old wreslting and robocop this is an emberassment and somewhat hard to watch, haha.

Yeah lets play are a joke

Lets play for those of you that don't know are usually nerds recording themselves playing their favorite games. They usually lack any editing skills so their videos are horrid and their voices are usually grating and sometimes they can't even play the fucking game. The second video Shane posted is a good example of what trash lets plays can be. Fuck them.

I have Mastered an Artform

Behold, my Magnum Opus:




Sadly, there are those who still feel they can outclass me. Just look at this pretender: