Happy Thanksgiving

I hope you all enjoy great food, strong drinks and time with your family, or friends or yourself if you love yourself more than them. Me, I'll be eating a shit ton of scalped potatoes and drinking with my family till I'm merrily drunk. Sadly no one uploaded the College University Thanksgiving special to youtube, of course it's on their page but sadly you'll have to follow a link. But it's worth it, I swear, a Gamorean Guard stars as John Madden.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING YOU WHITE MAN BASTARDS

Tuesday Night Freakazoid!

Hello, I'm Jack Valenti and these are my cheeks:

I dont think these guys even HAVE music videos

Not ones that they make, at least.

Anyway, here's some Mr. Bungle because I still like them:








I admit, I came for the zany covers, and stayed because I actually liked this fucked up band. Godspeed, you bastards.

Movie Review: 2012

Two things happened in this movie:

1) Someone Cried

2) Something Broke

Take that, alternate a few times, and you got this movie.

It was agreed that the movie suffered for a lack of Jeff Goldblum. However, Danny Glover made a DAMN fine president. I've once heard this man declare that someone had "Cut off his dick and shoved it up his ass". Hell yeah.

Not a GOOD movie, but a FUN movie.

GAME FACE!?!?

Game Face.

Today, we take a look at a little ADVENTURE game:



Fairy Tales: Three Heroes

The story, as you could probably guess, revolves around 3 heroes. I'd like to review each one individually (if I may).



Randolf the Stickman

Randolf was probably my least favorite character. His character is supposed to be some sort of Monk, but Im pretty sure most branches of every church I know consider a moustache of that caliber a mortal sin. Not to mention his cumpulsive gambling, and CONSTANT titty jokes.

SPOILER ALERT: Don't get me wrong, the jokes are HILARIOUS

His function in the overall story is to provide much needed information on many of the monsters. For example- He's the only one who knows that the Hydra can only be killed by a tincture of sulfer blessed by a virgin maiden.

SPOILER ALERT: I guess I should have spoilered the hydra's weakness. The werewolf clowns are especially weak to- you know those fake guns? The ones that shoot out a little flag that says "BANG"? Its those, except the flag says "SILVER"



This dude, as I said, was my least favorite character as a character. Don't get me wrong, the game would be ALOT harder without his tips, so I'll give him a B+



The Blonde Bowman

This douchebag is probably even worse than the last one. I know, I know I said that Randolf was my least favorite, but man... MAN. The Blonde Bowman will NOT stop screaming in his little whiny voice of his! He sounds like Hayden Christianson being punched in the balls while punching ME in the balls.

SPOILER ALERT: The worst part is his laughter. Its not even what you think... he talks like a screeching banshie on PCP, but he laughs like a fucking ghoul. Its the most demonic thing I've ever heard in my short life *shudder*

I admit, I dont have many pictures of this guy. Every time I was forced to play as him, I forgot to press the screen cap button. His function ingame is to provide cover fire for the other guys. This mechanic is a bit... wonky. He always hits SOMETHING, is the thing. Even when he misses, something usually teleports into his arrows, but not normal stuff like enemies. Its all grandfather clocks, bowls of pork or crates full of hand grenades.

SPOILER ALERT: Hand grenades arent even IN this game. Well, at least, not until the final boss fight against the Narrator/Evil Wizard/Robot

Seriously, this guy can go fuck himself. B+



Olaf Beefsteak

Oh

Man

This dude is BOSS! Seriously, makes the WHOLE GAME worth playing. He's a two ton mass of ass-kicking muscles (IE, every one of his two tons of muscles kicks some form of ass, figuratively and literaly). He has the most powerful attacks, the best defense and the heartiest laugh/beard.

SPOILER ALERT: Near the end of the game his beard actually REPLACES the other two characters, thank GOD



His function ingame is to be the character you wish the game was about exclusively. He has the double duty of beating all the bad guys and making the other two characters look stupid. My favorite moment is when he turns to the Bowman and tells him that arrows are for sissies, and proves it by sticking one through his eye, all the way through his head and out the other side only to laugh it off and take no damage.

SPOILER ALERT: Ironically, Olaf is ultimate killed by an arrow through the head after the end credits.

What can I say? He's the greatest character in this, or any other game (at least that I've played). His dialogue is short and sweet, his controls are fluid and intuitive and his beard is mighty.

What more could you want? B+!



Overall, this game was pretty ok. The good was offset by alot of bad. But the good was so good that it balanced out in the end. If you like swords, sourcery, sandwiches and scotch, this is a game you should definately try. B+

SPOILER ALERT: Look for a random cameo by Fire Man from the Mega Man series. He might be hard to spot- HINT: Look under the princess' skirt. Happy Hunting!

My dream project...

would be a comedy/horror movie staring Christopher Walken and Lance Henriksen. Walken would star as an optimistic widower who has lost his direction in life. Henriksen would play his cynical best friend who never married or had children. He reminds Walken of their childhood dream of owning a farm together and eventually presuades Walken to move with him to the Pacific Northwest to live their dream. Eventhing starts off quiet and nice as they begin to enjoy their new life, Henriksen even finding a sort of love interest. But everything begins to tumble down as their crops are found torn up and some of their live stock missing or mutilated. They decide to stake out to find out who is causing them problems and they witness a large hairy creature they can only deduce is Sasquatch. Comedy ensues as they try to capture the fabled Sasquatch. Movie hit the sequal stars them and aliens invading their farm.

Where's the update?

I should have gotten the photos from Halloween up by now but I've been waiting for my girlfriend to get her photos uploaded too so I can post them all at once. But there's been a lot of stuff going on with her and her camera so no uploading yet. Hopefully soon! Also I have a wicked hang over so I probably wont be doing it today.

This is a cross-post

From Craig (AKA Witty Banter):

We enjoyed some wrestling.



Kurt won a costume contest! He got 4 free tickets to the next show (12/12/09)! Who's game to go!?

Ruining Stuff Kurt Likes- Part 1

Today's topic: RoboCop

Happy uh Halloween??

Yeah it's late. I spent all of Friday night working o my costume, say six or seven hours and then finished it up yesterday morning before carving pumpkins and heading out until 3 this morning. So I've been a little busy. When my camrea is done charging I'll post photos and a video or two of last night! Stay tuned and until then here's this late Halloween treat.