Opinions are like Assholes: Titan Maximum

So, I wanted to start doing a review column, and it's my blog (well, half of it is) so here I go.

Titan Maximum. From the guys who did Robot Chicken, and I assume some other guys too. It's a parody of the Sentai Team/Giant Robot series from some of our childhoods like Voltron. Actually, it's pretty much Voltron with dick jokes.

I have to admit, the opening was pretty promising. We have the enemy fleet approaching a defenseless planet, ready to strike. For a minute, I thought the show might actually be a homage rather than straight up parody.

Sadly, that notion was dashed the second the characters opened their mouths. The main protagonists "banter" back and fourth as they decimate the enemy fighters in a way as to make me cringe. Right away its obvious that they were going for common stereotype characters, only exaggerated heavily. We've got "Moronic Leader Guy" "Sarcastic Smart Guy" "Goody-Two-Shoes Good at everything Girl" "Paris Hilton" and "Fat Comedy Guy". That's pretty much it, no subversion or anything. They're all pretty "in yo face" about their respective persona's pretty much to the point where I decided I didn't really care for the show.

And I guess, at the end of the day, that's what I liked least about the whole thing. The characters were predictable. You could set your watch by them. Nothing that they said caught me off guard and half of what they did I found plain obnoxious (especially Paris Hilton). I get that its a comedy series, I shouldn't be expecting Shakespearean motivations for each and every character. But they kept alluding to this semi-serious back story that didn't fit with how the characters were portrayed.

Second place in the "things I didn't care for" category was the drawn out gags. I don't know if they plan on keeping the show at a half hour per episode, but I'm wondering if that's a good idea... Alot of what I saw felt like padding to me. This could have easily come in at the 11-15 minute mark and would have achieved just as much as far as progression of story.

To be fair, it's not all bad. I did watch the whole premier, because there were some things that had me genuinely laughing. Mostly just little things, short gags etc. But the overall setting/plot also drew me in. They did a fairly good job of presenting a sci-fi giant robot universe. The set pieces were cool, and the effects were good for what they are (claymation and some 3d stuff).

Overall, if almost ALMOST felt like they were going for a more serious series when they originally sketched this idea out, then someone decided it should be a parody part-way through production. Otherwise, they can't decide if they want to appeal to lovers of fart jokes, or people who are nostalgic for giant robots. Honestly, I might give it another chance or two to grab me. There was alot that rubbed me the wrong way, but there was also just enough that I liked that it might be worth another shot.

Arbitrary Number Score:

8 Shrugs- Not entirely sure that I'll watch the series. But I don't REGRET watching this episode. If you like Robot Chicken most of the time, and have fond memories of Voltron and stuff you could give it a shot. It's only about 25 minutes or so... also free.

Inspired by Mr. Banter

Here's a wallpaper I made:

Then I went ahead and did this too:

OH MY FUCKING GOD

Two of my favorite action stars/men appeared in the same movie together!

I want to see this so fucking bad.

On a side note, I informed Shane that I have in fact seen Hell comes to Frogtown at the young tender age of 9. Since I don't remember most of it I'll be rewatching it soon, maybe even this morning if I can't sleep!

Straight bad asses...

or we were


















This a funny and depressing picture, haha. This was Shane and I working at the elementary school we met each other at over four years ago, probably closer to five now. Now we're just lazy old men.

Not much to say,

but that Brad Neely cartoons exist uncut still. These were on a website run by William's Street and they shut it down last year and folded a few of the web series in Adult Swim but edited them which sucked. Well, Mr. Brad Neely has uploaded them to youtube.

Nostalgia gets the better of me

Sometimes my friends will talk about their favorite Disney Movie. The one they always watched as a kid. Everybody I know has one. Some popular ones are Lion King, Beauty and the Beast or Aladdin.

I have yet to meet someone else who shares my favorite:




When I was little I watched the HELL out of Sword and the Stone (my parents can attest to this). I even, at one point, had the opportunity to read the novel "The Once and Future King" and guess what: Its not the MOVIE that's totally fucked up, it's the SOURCE MATERIAL.

Oh, the other big one was:



Fuck the hampster dance for stealin that shit.

So, what Disney movies do you like? And don't fuckin' lie, we all have one.

Kurt, do me a favor:

So, Roddy Piper. Wrestler, actor, all around awesome story teller. You've no doubt heard about "They Live" the classic sci-fi role that made Roddy a gum chewing asskicker. But... have you heard of Sam?

Sam Hell that is:



So, Kurt, please fufull your role on this blog and find/watch this movie for me. Thanks in advance,

Shane

Never Forget

Never ever never!

http://tinyurl.com/nl3y34

Always Remember!

As a young child

I was a big wrestling fan! As a family we would watch WWF weekly and have parties for all of the Wrestlemanias. Around the late 90's with the attitude era...we just stopped. Flat out stopped watching wrestling, I for one am glad. I look back on that era with a donkey shit taste in my mouth.
Recently Shane exposed me to some of the current wrestling programs, while not as good as what we grew up watching it's much better than what was around ten years ago or so. With this resugence in wrestling interest I've been watching a lot of the old matches. Like most kids Hulk Hogan was a favorite but one of my all time favorites, even now I love him, was Rowdy Rody Piper. This is one reason why

That and They Live.

I couldn't help myself...mainly because I've been up all night

Anyways, I'm a huge Atom and his package fan. I was lucky enough to see him on his last tour, it was one of the most amazing shows of my life. My friend recently mentioned Math the band to me, I happened to look over their name on a Atom and his package tribute and didn't pay any attention to them. I have most of their stuff now, though I'm not as impressed by as much of it as I would have liked to have been. It seems like their most recent album, the one I don't have is much more refined and better than the stuff I have. They're like Atom and his package and Andrew WK. From the live clips I've seen they seem to be able to put on a damn good show. I would very much like to see them.

Math the Band! from Quarter Productions on Vimeo.

They're also kind of hipsters, but I can look past that.

Return of the tag team article

Here at Laff and a Haff, we like roleplaying games....ALOT.

It's true, in fact, it's half the reason we never post.

That's kind of true! Sadly we rarely get to play any of the games we like....we've become the default DMs for our groups respectively.

Sometimes we let Steve do it, but he always yells at us when we say swears.

And then he swears when we ask him why he can but we can't...

And then he kills our characters...But this article isnt about Steve (fuck that guy)!

Well not really, we love that guy. He's like a creepy uncle that's not our uncle or as creepy.

Also, we have to say we like him, he reads this blog.

Alright I think we've stretched that out as much as we can. Some where along the way to growing up wanting to play fantasy games and actually play fantasy games I stumbled upon the name of this game.

And I just sort of rolled with the sort of crowd who would often talk about it.

I had been looking for it for years, but it was always too god damn expensive because it was always going in and out of print. About a year ago I finally got to play it....kind of. We played for about twenty minutes until one of my friends accidentally spilled his 40 oz on to it.

Which, if I understand the rules of fantasy gaming, only enhances the experience. Like putting on a Led Zeplin album.

Or Rush, which is basically what you and I did when we played this game for the first couple of times.

The game is Talisman by the way. Not sure if we mentioned that.

Oh I mentioned it last night/this morning in the last post so I just assumed they knew.

I didn't read that...

Oh, you should it's a good post. Whoever wrote it, not saying any names, is probably a really handsome man with sexy body parts somewhere on him.

Whatever. What do you think of Talisman?

It's a perfect game for gaming heroes like you and me who sacrifice their precious time and money to make each gaming session better than the last. The unsung heroes who never get to play that character they've thought about for months, making him perfect for that chance to play him...only to never get to. Talisman is like D&D without a asshole DM, fuck those guys.

Yeah, I like that you don't need Big Brother to play. I also like that the Wizard is automatically Evil. Because, seriously, every wizard I have ever seen played in any D&D game has been either psychotic, or just a jerk.

Unless they're a nature wizard those guys are like hippies only nicer and smell like trees rather than B.O.

I thought nature wizards were just druids. What kind of weird DnD are you playin? Advanced 2nd Edition?

I dunno, but the druid is in Talisman too along with 13 other guys including the evil wizard. They have a really nice array of classes plus more in other EXPANSIONS! Which we'll talk about when we play them.

What was your favorite class to play? Mine was toad. You could only move one space, so you always knew where you'd wind up. And you have a pretty good chance of beating up a Druid and stealing from him. All in all, not a bad one.

Toad was cool, but druids are baby men so it's not hard to beat them up. I think my favorite man to play was the warrior. He was a cool guy. When I played him a barbarian helped him through the mountains and he got stronger! Then he was a good warrior fighting in the name of some ancient good only to be turned to the dark side and rule the world/country/board with a iron fist! That was cool, it was like living a dream...

I also enjoyed the Dwarf class. His stats are stupid high at the get-go, so he is the perfect bully character. Not to mention the fact that he can pretty much just walk to the end of the board whenever he wants.

Yeah I played him the other night with my friends. I got my ass beat by the Troll, that kind of sucked. But I valiantly sacrificed myself hoping to buy time for the other players to get to get stronger and defeat him. So they could have the fabled crown of command. Sadly my death was for not.

Yeah, I have to take back what I said earlier. Troll is the perfect bully class.

A Lemure can kick his ass though, his craft stat is probably the lowest of all characters. For people not familiar with the game, in terms of D&D craft is like Intelligence, Wisdom and Charisma all bunched in to one. You use it to fight spirits especially that fucking asshole Demon....I hate that guy.

When the demon shows up, you pretty much either call the evil Wizard (who will probably just party with it) or the creepy Priest. That Ben-Franklin looking motherfucker can kill any spirit in one hit and take no damage. Also, there's an item that does that too. So if the Troll gets said item, he's unstoppable (Except by maybe a Wizard).

Yeah like my friend Matt, he got the cross as the Troll. Just like in D&D you can get random treasure in Talisman. You move around the board drawing adventure cards, they could be awesome weapons, helpful followers, fiendish dragons or asshole imps that teleport you randomly on the board.

Another aspect of the game is the titular "Talisman". Really, the game should be called "TalismanS" becasue those things are EVERYWHERE!

Yeah really, last game a Talisman was the first card I drew. You don't even need one until late game because you have to have one to get through the space leading to the last space, the home to THE CROWN OF COMMAND!

THE CROWN OF COMMAND! The goal of the game. You can probably guess what it does. That's right! It kills people!

Yeah I don't get that part. You fight your way to get to the crown and instead of COMMANDING people you use it to hurt and eventually kill them. I mean if I had it I would make them quest for me and bring me back all of the spoils and riches.

I would make them come get me. Seriously, that crown is in a BAD NEIGHBORHOOD! Its filled with vampires and demons and werewolves and fire!

True! I guess I would use it to kill everyone though. Eventually all of the other heroes begin to get pissed and try and come kill you to take control of the crown. So I guess it makes sense.

When it's all said and done, I think Talisman is a good game and a fantastic time machine.

Yeah you and I played like seven games of it in less than twenty four hours, that's got to say something about it.

Also, each game felt like 20 minutes to me. When in reality, they were almost 2 hours each.

Yeah...we have no lives. A warning the more people that play the longer it will take. I played a game with five players and it took about four hours to play. If you have time, love fantasy games, at least one friend and about $60 to drop on a kick ass board game I definitely suggest Talisman.

And if you don't have some of that stuff, you can come play with us. Well, you can if you're cool. And like Rush.

We'll probably have more praise with in the next week or so when I get my expansion in the mail. Four more classes, new cards doubling the adventure deck, upping the spell deck and adding Death himself to the game sounds really kick ass.

I look forward to getting a few spaces away from the CROWN OF COMMAND just as you get there and kill me!

Me too and I hope our 3 fans look forward to hearing about and or playing with us!


In honor of the evil Crown of command.


EDIT: I didn't know this video had shitty word bubbles placed in to it....they piss me off. So when you listen to the song, if you do, don't watch the video.

UPDATE! No one gives a shit!

Did you catch the reference in the title? I know I did!

The costume is coming along, not counting the proton pack and trap I'm about 75% done. I just need to pick up and make a couple more things. I'm very excited to get to scratch that off the list. I'm not very excited to deal with making the proton pack....but I know once I get started it'll be a project of love rather than labor. The labor will come in when I start making three to four more of the damn things for our project. A quick update on our fan project, we've shifted from a movie to a webseries. As I'm sure I've mentioned or probably didn't, we hate fan films. Most if not everyone involved in the project has a great disdain for fan films, while many we've watched have started off strong and are quiet enjoyable by the second half they tend to lose that steam. A lot of this has to do with pacing, it begins to wind down and become nothing but a withered fart. Which isn't a good thing for a thirty minute project, if you can't keep your audience involved for more than eight minutes you've probably fucked up. So we're shifting to a five to eight minute format. Which is great for pacing and we can revolve around one or two good jokes. I went and visited Shane this last week. Aside from wasting most of our time playing Talisman (which we have decided to do a article about) we buckled down and did a character write up and have ideas for the "pilot" and first couple of episodes. But too much Talisman prevented us from actually writing a script for those. Luckily I still have two weeks off of work, that's half of my break left! I'm heading back down to be in our friend Craig's (from Witty's Ramblings) movie. That will give us more time to get the first couple of scripts hammered out...after a couple of games of Talisman. So with everything begin to piece together...kind of, we might see a spring to late spring "pilot" rather than early summer. Here's hoping Talisman doesn't fuck that up...but it proably will since I have an expansion in the mail on it's way to me, another to buy and another coming out...I'm sure they'll take up more time than before.

Wish me luck on my costume, whooping Shane's ass at Talisman, finding wave 2 of the Ghostbusters minimates and on my new diet!