G-Game Face!

Hey... remember this? That one feature we used to do? Where you had to highlight the spoilers to see them? Well, here's another one of these articles! This week we explore a genre that has been near my heart for several months now: Farming Games.

Yes, it's Youda Farmer! You know, it's sad, it took me a while to actually understand what the fuck that title was about.

SPOILER ALERT: It's You-da Farmer, you are the farmer. I guess it's supposed to be urban.

I played this game for several hours, and I have to say, it really gets to the core of farming:

Buying shit! Yeah, apparently this world runs on "Credits" like so many future-space societies, and video games. The shop lady in the corner there is a total Minx, by the way. She offers several different buyables for your farm, including a butter churn and weathercock.

SPOILER ALERT: To get the golden butter churn you have to wait until the 5th full moon, then make a blood sacrifice to the spirits of the soil. The next day the new churn will be where the old one was, only it's covered in blood.

As for the plot, it's pretty clear from the map. You are a farmer working for a medieval type town. Every once in a while, the raiders come and you have to pack everything you can behind the little city wall there. It's a fairly interesting way of keeping the game fresh, as you have to often choose between things that seem equally valuable.

SPOILER ALERT: The pro's tell me that the best thing to leave to the raiders is children. The boys usually grow strong backs, perfect for raider labor, and daughters... well, you know. They were different times, man... different times...

Another interesting deviation from the normal farm game is the inclusion of several mini-games. From butter churning (alternate the up and down arrows for several hours) to barn raising, even the most mundane task is made lively and engaging!

SPOILER ALERT: This is one party you DON'T want to get invited to...

Overall, this is a game that's a worthy distraction for the price. You get to run around, spreading joy and water to various crops and livestock. You can shoot raiders with flaming arrows, and you're character pretty much isn't afraid of anything. I wouldn't be ashamed to give it a B+, especially considering your ability to pimp your ride:

SPOILER ALERT: Oh SNAP, son! That ride is CHERRY!