This man right here is what every drunk frat boy aspires to be, a screaming, pile of man muscle that uses his 15 strength to brutalize women and rape them, just like Conan.
Too bad for them, Conan only drinks Pabst. I think he'd probably get high and punch this guy out.
Conan is too manly for Pabst, you know how I know? I'm a manly mother fucker and I refuse to drink that shit. I also refuse to drink the balls juice this guy apparently became deliriously drunk on.
I can imagine that he came up with a lengthy back story. He seems like a closet role-player who was kicked out of his group in high school, and was forced to take solace in the gym
He was kicked out because he couldn't help but put other members of his group in a headlock, threaten to make them suck his dick or give them wedgies. I'd kick him out of my group too, but after I gave him a wedgie and made him suck my dick as he was in a headlock.
Sorta looks like he's ready for that too. I think he's coming for you, man. Better get your Miller High Life armor ready
No, I wear the armor of my people, +2 prone to alcoholism armor of Bud, I wield a +1 dagger of broken high life bottle. Thank you very much.
I wouldn't know, as I am master of only Hard Lemonade-jitsu. I studied under the great Mike. The idea is to make your opponent laugh long enough for you to call the cops.
The laughing comes from seeing what you're drinking while they're wearing their manly beer armor. Any last words before I shiv you with my +1 dagger?
Yeah. Open the door, it's the cops.
Balls....all I have to say is that I know some day I'll wake up one Sunday morning and I'll be wearing a soiled set of beer box armor, my cheeks covered in dry tears. That will be the day I vow to never stop drinking....
I'm pretty sure that's how this guy woke up the next morning. Only, his ass hurt.
Picture 2: This week Shane has chosen one of his favorite boyhood pastimes, hell one of his favorite pastimes that doesn't involve playing with his dingy. Lego.
You know, I never thought I'd see the day... but here it is. Lego is now pretentious.
I feel it's a little racist too, I mean, is the artist trying to say that every Chinese man wishes on the in side he could make a high quality bootleg of Lego??
Sometimes I wish that...Have you seen the prices lately? 40 bucks for a pirate ship? No thank you, sir.
I'd gladly pay that...if it came with real pirates and you could sail it in international waters...you'd make your 40 back in a mater of months.
I wish that Lego stuff was real. Then I'd have all the fucking space ships I'd ever want. Watch out, fuckers, I gots me an ARMADA!
I once had a dream of having a armada of spaceships, I realized it was dumb. I decided engineering a race of super warriors that could breath underwater was more plausible.
Yeah, but then you'd have to deal with Aquaman in his own element. That's why he seems so weak, you never see him in the water. But once he gets wet, look the fuck out!
Aquaman is one man, my army is many men. I know you'll say "Oh he has sea creatures and seamen" I know, I know, but I'll dump oil in the ocean and I'll win the world. No joke.
Ha, try that shit and then you got Captain Planet on your ass. You think Aquaman is bad at least he wont make you grab your ankles.
Haha, idiot, Captain Planet is a failed cartoon character not a real hero.He never really existed.
Well then who am I thinking of? Sgt. Slaughter? Must be Slaughter...
Probably, I know how he whips the gi joes in shape and it's a nightmare inducing shudder fest.
I remember when Sgt. Slaughter had to invent a robot of himself that was 80 stories tall so he could wrestle an irradiated Rowdy Roddy Piper over the skyline of Chicago. Piper went to kick Sarge in the jewels, and came up empty. Because robots don't have jewels. Then Slaughter ended it with a turbo suplex, that landed on Batman's parents. To this day, Batman always crys when he sees a guy in Aviator shades.
That day will always go down as the greatest event in American, hell the worlds, history. We now celebrate presidents day and valentines day because of that event. Every year I make sure to carve the ceremonial ghost to look like the face of the Piper. Every damn year...
Tune in next week for another pulse pounding and heart stopping installment!
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