Movie Breaker review

Yeah I broke down and dropped $13 on a figure that's not out yet. I'm usually the kind of person that waits to get something knowing that I'll eventually find it. The only time I buy stuff of ebay is if it's a good deal, like the ultimate battle pack, I got that damn thing for $22 not including shipping and even with shipping is was cheaper than it ever was around here. I also recently picked up the Shockwave/Destro comic pack for $10 after shipping. I also usually don't care if I have things first, I'm not posting all over boards saying "Oh guess what I got in the mail today" or "I have it before you, haha". I truthfully don't know what overcame me to purchase this figure but I did. Was it worth it, I dunno, probably not, I could have waited.

One major complaint about this figure is that he's too plain. Which is also the same complaint about the original 13 and I completely understand. I like the simplicity of his uniform. I think it works for a coms guy. He doesn't need to hunkered down by uniform. What I wish he included was some communications gear other than the laptop.





















This figure gets no complaints when it comes to possibility though. His elbows bend a full 90 degrees, he doesn't suffer from diaper crotch and his ankles aren't hindered by his lower legs. I hope all the movie figures have articulation of this caliber, though sadly Storm Shadow wont be.

Overall his paint aps are pretty good, except on the flesh parts, they're not terrible there's just something wrong about them that I can't put my finger on. The camo is nicely applied and the thins stripes running down his sleeves are nice and straight, albeit mine is missing one.














His gear is alright, some sort of assault rifle, a pistol, a laptop with a cord that attaches to a missiles launcher that mine did not include, his vest and a belt. The guns are pretty nicely designed and he has no issues holding them. What I like about his vest is that unlike some of the more recent 25th figures, his vest has tabs on both sides so it's not a pain in the ass to get off.











I usually don't "review" items or try and rate them. It's not what I generally so, I like to share my opinion on things and talk to people about item. But I don't point at something and tell someone "oh yeah that's a 8 out 10, you should buy it". If I had to do some stupid rating system I'd give the figure 6 skulls out of 10. Not a great figure, most people can live without him.

And just for the readers,

I mentioned a couple times I've been working on GI Joe customs again, I have about five that I'm trying to finish up. Here's a preview for one I'm almost done with, just need to touch him up.


















The finished product with have a little background info to accompany him.

Whelp...

I'm sick again, should be in bed but I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep so here I am. I figured I could use this time though, to ask readers that are Joe collectors and maybe even readers that aren't to help me out. I've been getting out when I can and looking everywhere for that damn 5th DVD pack, the greatest of the 80's one with Alpine, seen HERE. Since I've been punishing the porcelain since Friday I haven't been able look the last few days. I've had to turn to spelunking message boards and ebay. Bastards on ebay are scalpers and Joe fans are looking for this damn thing too so I've had zero luck. So if anyone could help a brother out it would be greatly appreciated.
To make this post more entertaining and less useless here's a music video from a Japanese heavy metal band, Seikima II, R/LATS BANE

Check out the little kid drinking that hobolo's 40.
And finally for good measure, Ernie Hudson's Pokemon pro strats.

Like father like mutant

So let me set up the scenario, I'm only 22, so when GI Joe fans started ranting and raving about how nostalgic the 25th line was, I got it, I didn't feel it the same way though. As a kid I didn't start getting Joes until 1989-1990 or so and those characters are neither iconic or being remade so I just didn't feel the nostalgia. Also at that age I was gaga over teenage mutant ninja turtles, that was my thing. I loved GI Joe was and Ghostbusters but Turtles was really where it was at for me.

Just over a month ago I was kicking around ebay looking for the old Turtle figures I had, complete and in decent shape...no way I'm going to pay those prices. No more than two days later though I found the Ninja Turtle 25th line out. Not only are they nostalgic, they're straight reissues of the fuckers that I had when I was 4. Now I know my age doesn't add up if the Ninja Turtles are 25 years old and I'm 22. The comic started 25 years ago, the figures and cartoon showed up later, when my mind was being molded and was weak to commercialism, still is, It branded the name in to my little soft brain. I quickly picked up all four of the turtles and walked around Target with them. After about twenty minutes I placed them back on the pegs and walked away. I wanted them badly and I want them now, but what I really really wanted was Bebop and Rocksteady, one of my earliest exposures to punk rockers. They were awesome and were funny as hell. Growing up I was I found the other turtle medium, the original comics, you could image how my heart sank when I found neither Bebop or Rocksteady were in it.

Today, I went shopping, looking for the last of the Joes I nedd and I found on the pegs at Target the second wave of TMNT figures. I found Rocksteady, but no Bebop, my favorite of the two. Insteady of putting Rocksteady back, I dropped the damn $9 on him. The Turtles, while more iconic have always had much more exposure, they've always had products, Bebop and Rocksteay, not as much. While the GI Joe 25th line played on old fans nostalgia, Playmates are geniuses, they conned me in to paying three times as much for a figure my parents bought me as a kid. In defense of thise overpriced toy the plastic is much harder and less brittle than the original, his head is also not made of rubber.

Where the magic happens

This is where it all happens the crowded, cluttered computer desk, I wont be showing it in it's entirety it's embarrassing. I'm hoping to start making more room to actually start some real dio work and get some better lighting. I'm also hoping to try and get a weekly "comic" up, this weeks was hastily done and put together to get something up. I hope you guys liked it ok.
Also, yes behind the six's is the TRU Cutter, the same one I ranted about in a earlier post. I decided to waste the money on the pack, so now I have two deep six and a orange Torpedo that I'll be using in the near future. It would have cost me the same amount to make the Cutter custom I was planning on making, haha.

The adventures of Deep Six part 1

The man, the legend, the asshole: Deep six

Codename: Deep six
File name: Willoughby, Malcom R.
Primary Military Specialty: Master Diver
Secondary Military Specialty: Underwater demolitions instructor
Birthplace: Baltimore, Maryland



Deep six is a loner and individualist by nature and he rarely partakes in social activities with his fellow Joe teammates, this includes but is not limited to conversations, playing boardgames, watching television or drinking beers. Whatever his task is he's fully focused on it, be it planting explosives, counting his bottle cap collection or throttling the neck of a cobra agent, his concentration is not easily broken.
He can be bit of a wild card too, while he's loyal to the GI Joe organization he's been known to punch out team members that have rubbed him the wrong way. Some think he's only loyal to the group because he's able to kill people legally and is able to drive around in a sub when ever he wants to. He's been known to creep out some of the new recruits by rarely speaking. When he does speak to the new recruits he's usually teaching them underwater demolitions, one thing he often tells green shirts is "I dislike explosives, they take the passion out of the job, I love seeing the eyes of a cobra soldier look back at me as I strangle him to death".
But it is all worth the price of having such a soldier on the team. If all the members of GI Joe were like Deep six there would be less drama since they would refuse to talk to each other. He's never failed a mission, he's saved the asses of countless members, whether he likes them or not, has dozens of kills under his belt and follows orders to the T.















"I like it underwater, I don't have to hear the idiotic chatter of fellow members. When I have to work with them I just wear a armored diving suit, I can't hear a damn word they say while I have my dome on. Sure I'm supposed to be a team player but my teammates just get in the
way of my job; killing." - Deep six

"I don't care what race you are, what religion you follow or your god damn political views, I'm going to fucking hate you. Don't take it personal it's not anything against you, you're just a person and I hate you by nature. So no I'm not a damn racist, some pusher of an opposite religion or opposing your political views, I hate every the same."
Deep six in response to Roadblock calling him a "hatin' honky" before punching Roadblock out.

Oh SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

I just got home after a good night of getting blasted. I didn't get to do my game face so I shall do it tomorrow along with the google gearch. I had a pretty good night drinking partaking in other things. Since I slacked off tonight this weekend should and hopefully will be filled with updates, Deepsix profile, maybe a figure review or two and the two regular articles along with of course a music video or two like this one

I'm going to pass out

Today I wondered in to Target with a wicked hangover...

and something compelled me to get the new Sharc with Deep Six figure, I don't know what, but it did. I'm glad i did, he's my new favorite figure. The video below is just a taste of things to come, Shane and I have decided that he will be the focus of a new story line. The rest of the works wont be videos probably, but I just had to show off how bad ass he is.

Google Gearch... Guesday?

So, here we are again, Christmas hangover just ending... New Year's revelry about to begin. What better time than to ruin something we love by typing it into Google? I'll tell you... none. None better a time than now, dear reader.

Kicking things off this "Satarday" is my entry DnD:

Ah yes... I remember this move. Martin Lawrence gets transported back in time and has to nail broads to save history. A true classic.

I think you've got that mixed up with Black Knight...which you still need to return my VHS copy of. I remember THIS movie though, I was a freshman in high school, a doe eye'd roleplayer, I had just started playing after the release of 3rd edition. My family was also stealing pay per view at the time so I was able to view this classic for free.

Wait... I think I did see this move...

...oh God...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Yeah that was the reaction I was expecting...because Black Knight would never demand that heart wrenching of a reply. I don't remember this movie that well, there are three things aside from the Marlon's brother. The semi-hot elf, the retarded looking dwarf and the main bad guy who I swore was Doc Brown from back to the future.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

No, really I thought It was Doc Brown...

NOOOOOOOOOOO- wait. Is that the Mummy up there? On the right?

No, thank god, because the mummy is also going to be Zartan in the new Gi Joe movie....that movie already has more kicks to the nuts than the practice guy in womens self defence classes. Little known fact that guy you mention was in the sci fi original sequel

Ok, now I DEFINITELY remember seeing that one. As I recall, it was a whole hell of a lot better. That Barbarian Chick? Hell yeah. She can rage my berserker any day of the week.

That made no sense, but yeah she could power attack my rod whenever she wanted.

I think what we're all saying here is that she can Handle any Animal she pleases.

As long as it's my cock

But, since it's a movie about DnD, she was probably being played by an overweight 40 year old man.

What DnD group have you been playing with? We don't know any overweight 40 year olds that exclusively play female characters. Have you been "roleplaying" in chat rooms again?

That's between me and my 12th level halfling Tantric Raider.

Let me know next time you play I'll roll up a character.

Next up, Kurt's long-time love: GI Joe!

Honestly, I don't know what to say...this image is just weird and disturbing. I thought fans of the 3 3/4 th Joes were bad enough...but look at this shit...I'm glad I don't play with dolls. I'd probably mutilate small animals too.

"Caught this one in the Green Zone, looked like he was burying land mines."

I wish it hadn't been caught so maybe these DOLLS and their man owner would step on them. You know I'd like to think that when this guy showed his friends this image they stopped talking to him, when in reality I know they high fived him and asked him where he got the guy on the left.

Take heart, man, he probably doesn't have any friends.

His dolls are probably his only friends. See I play with action figures, not dolls, notice the word action, because they kick ass.

See, now that's where I disagree with you. I don't think his Dolls even like him. He did pose them over a DEAD SQUIRREL after all...

But at least they got to be outside...most of his pictures are taken in a dark damp basement...and most of the time him and his dolls are naked.

True, as bad as that squirrel might be, it's nothing compared with the *ahem* Cobra they have to face nearly every day.

Alright, I'm not going any farther than that...I don't even want to imagine where it'll go next. Any last words before I punt you from the living for that comment?

Only that I hope that, like me, this guy gets what he deserves one day.

Oh he will, those squirels will have their vengence and I hope on that day someone happens to be there with a video camera.

Finally, just to clense our collective pallates, the hot elf chick from the Dungeons and Dragons movie:

Delightful.

Ugh, sleep where art thou?

It's common knowledge among friends and family that I have problems sleeping. Ever since I graduated from high school almost five years ago it's hard for me to get to sleep before the sun comes up. On top of that I work as a teacher's assistant at a kindergarten....those kids drain the shit out of me. Last night I got three hours of sleep...three whole hours and today was my first day back to work in two weeks. I couldn't clear my mind. Thoughts just danced and pranced around...and those thoughts were about fucking gi joe figures. My thoughts weren't stressful, hectic or anger ridden like they often are. I set up all of my 25th anniversary joes last night and counted them. I realized that as of now I'm only missing four to have one of every joe that's out, Doc, Alpine, Leatherneck, and Cutter. First I layed in bed and wondered when the hell my Doc would be coming in the damn mail. Seriously fuck you hasbro making me lose sleeping wondering when I'll get my precious medic in the mail. Then I started thinking about Alpine and how the dvd set he comes with is super sick and I want that cobra paratrooper and that sweet cobra commander but alas I don't get paid until the 15th! Since I work a college campus job I get paid once a month. Then Leatherneck, how at first I didn't care about him and now the more I see him and think about the figure I want him....I have to drop $15 and get another AWE to get him...but he'll be worth it when I get him...I know it...in the deepest darkest part of my heart. Then finally that balls Cutter figure...fuck hasbro for that poor attempt. Back during the JvC days they released Cutter as Shipwreck, you look at the figure, he had red hair and a goatee and he came with a boat! There were even filecard samples for the figure form Asia that said Cutter! Balls to you hasbro and screwing Cutter over, I'll make my own fucking figure thank you very much.
After I contemplated those last figures I started thinking about the upcoming Nightforce Lt. Falcon figure. Man Hasbro could do some cool stuff with this figure. Use Dusty's torso, waist coast belt thingie and upper legs, lower legs from Falcon, give him flint arms and just paint the head a bit better and finish him up with the comic pack gear. They'd have a winner on their hands! If they don't those fuckers will force me to do a custom and I don't have the motivation for those anymore.
God my life has become a wreck...I stay up late thinking about plastic army men and then rant about it in a blog. I hope something new and exciting happens in my life...like finding the tunnelrat comic pack this week...i'd pee my pants even if the figures are poopoo doodoo shits.

It's that time again! GOOGLE GEARCH GATURDAYZ GOLUME 2!

The day you're all been waiting for is here, it's Google search day. From now on I (Spooky/Kurtis) will be represented by a beautiful shade of green and Shane a balls shade of blue. This week I have I will be starting off the festivities. My word this week is BEER!




















This man right here is what every drunk frat boy aspires to be, a screaming, pile of man muscle that uses his 15 strength to brutalize women and rape them, just like Conan.

Too bad for them, Conan only drinks Pabst. I think he'd probably get high and punch this guy out.

Conan is too manly for Pabst, you know how I know? I'm a manly mother fucker and I refuse to drink that shit. I also refuse to drink the balls juice this guy apparently became deliriously drunk on.

I can imagine that he came up with a lengthy back story. He seems like a closet role-player who was kicked out of his group in high school, and was forced to take solace in the gym

He was kicked out because he couldn't help but put other members of his group in a headlock, threaten to make them suck his dick or give them wedgies. I'd kick him out of my group too, but after I gave him a wedgie and made him suck my dick as he was in a headlock.

Sorta looks like he's ready for that too. I think he's coming for you, man. Better get your Miller High Life armor ready

No, I wear the armor of my people, +2 prone to alcoholism armor of Bud, I wield a +1 dagger of broken high life bottle. Thank you very much.

I wouldn't know, as I am master of only Hard Lemonade-jitsu. I studied under the great Mike. The idea is to make your opponent laugh long enough for you to call the cops.


The laughing comes from seeing what you're drinking while they're wearing their manly beer armor. Any last words before I shiv you with my +1 dagger?

Yeah. Open the door, it's the cops.

Balls....all I have to say is that I know some day I'll wake up one Sunday morning and I'll be wearing a soiled set of beer box armor, my cheeks covered in dry tears. That will be the day I vow to never stop drinking....

I'm pretty sure that's how this guy woke up the next morning. Only, his ass hurt.


Picture 2: This week Shane has chosen one of his favorite boyhood pastimes, hell one of his favorite pastimes that doesn't involve playing with his dingy. Lego.





















You know, I never thought I'd see the day... but here it is. Lego is now pretentious.

I feel it's a little racist too, I mean, is the artist trying to say that every Chinese man wishes on the in side he could make a high quality bootleg of Lego??

Sometimes I wish that...Have you seen the prices lately? 40 bucks for a pirate ship? No thank you, sir.

I'd gladly pay that...if it came with real pirates and you could sail it in international waters...you'd make your 40 back in a mater of months.

I wish that Lego stuff was real. Then I'd have all the fucking space ships I'd ever want. Watch out, fuckers, I gots me an ARMADA!

I once had a dream of having a armada of spaceships, I realized it was dumb. I decided engineering a race of super warriors that could breath underwater was more plausible.

Yeah, but then you'd have to deal with Aquaman in his own element. That's why he seems so weak, you never see him in the water. But once he gets wet, look the fuck out!

Aquaman is one man, my army is many men. I know you'll say "Oh he has sea creatures and seamen" I know, I know, but I'll dump oil in the ocean and I'll win the world. No joke.

Ha, try that shit and then you got Captain Planet on your ass. You think Aquaman is bad at least he wont make you grab your ankles.

Haha, idiot, Captain Planet is a failed cartoon character not a real hero.He never really existed.

Well then who am I thinking of? Sgt. Slaughter? Must be Slaughter...

Probably, I know how he whips the gi joes in shape and it's a nightmare inducing shudder fest.

I remember when Sgt. Slaughter had to invent a robot of himself that was 80 stories tall so he could wrestle an irradiated Rowdy Roddy Piper over the skyline of Chicago. Piper went to kick Sarge in the jewels, and came up empty. Because robots don't have jewels. Then Slaughter ended it with a turbo suplex, that landed on Batman's parents. To this day, Batman always crys when he sees a guy in Aviator shades.

That day will always go down as the greatest event in American, hell the worlds, history. We now celebrate presidents day and valentines day because of that event. Every year I make sure to carve the ceremonial ghost to look like the face of the Piper. Every damn year...

Tune in next week for another pulse pounding and heart stopping installment!