So...

yeah I'm still behind, I woke up Wednesday morning and my ankle hurt like shit. It was ok about half day but it started killing me after work and I'm not going to get in to how hellish it was today. So I've mostly been laying around resting not really being motivated to do anything except kill terrorists over Rainbow 6 las vegas 2. It's like Gi Joe the video for me, because I block out the story and the characters and just pretend i'm Shockwave or who ever I've dressed up as. Hopefully tomorrow I'll be feeling better and now out partying too late so I can try and do two game faces. Thanks for still checking you guys.

Game Face!

I tell ya, this week is a real keeper:

And before you snicker, NO it's not about a hooker with a heart of gold who is forced to go to medical school after a crippling vaginal injury. This is simply an innocent game of health care management which HAPPENS to star a hooker.

SPOILER ALERT: She also happens to suffer from a crippling vaginal injury.

You guide your sweet little nurse character from hospital to hospital, plying your trade of medicine. You have a range of magic spells from Cure Light Wounds to Delouse which you need to use in the right combination, or your patient will turn into an exploding skeleton.

SPOILER ALERT: Each copy of the game has a specific character that, when killed, will become the Exploding Lich. This unlocks super nightmare mode where all the patients are razorblades, and all your spells are replaced with ear-piercing screams.

Not only do you act as the hospital's primary caster, but the nurse/hooker is also expected to buy pretty much every goddamn thing a hospital could ever need. Here I am buying water coolers which, as any doctors out there well know, are used to cure Scurvy.

SPOILER ALERT: When you place a Water Cooler directly next to a Dialysis Machine, you get a special ending where the hospital burns down due to an electrical fire.

I'd say this game's biggest flaw is the lack of nudity.

Yeah.

SPOILER ALERT: For a game about a hospital, there's a disturbing lack of backless gowns.

Overall, I'd say that Hospital Hustle does a good job of presenting the all-too-common situation of a hooker working in a hospital because her vagina is broken. It's a universal concept that pretty much all of us can relate to. Definitely a solid B

Well... maybe a B+

SPOILER ALERT: Hellooooooo Nurse!

The man, the legend, the asshole: Deep six

Codename: Deep six
File name: Willoughby, Malcom R.
Primary Military Specialty: Master Diver
Secondary Military Specialty: Underwater demolitions instructor
Birthplace: Baltimore, Maryland



Deep six is a loner and individualist by nature and he rarely partakes in social activities with his fellow Joe teammates, this includes but is not limited to conversations, playing boardgames, watching television or drinking beers. Whatever his task is he's fully focused on it, be it planting explosives, counting his bottle cap collection or throttling the neck of a cobra agent, his concentration is not easily broken.
He can be bit of a wild card too, while he's loyal to the GI Joe organization he's been known to punch out team members that have rubbed him the wrong way. Some think he's only loyal to the group because he's able to kill people legally and is able to drive around in a sub when ever he wants to. He's been known to creep out some of the new recruits by rarely speaking. When he does speak to the new recruits he's usually teaching them underwater demolitions, one thing he often tells green shirts is "I dislike explosives, they take the passion out of the job, I love seeing the eyes of a cobra soldier look back at me as I strangle him to death".
But it is all worth the price of having such a soldier on the team. If all the members of GI Joe were like Deep six there would be less drama since they would refuse to talk to each other. He's never failed a mission, he's saved the asses of countless members, whether he likes them or not, has dozens of kills under his belt and follows orders to the T.















"I like it underwater, I don't have to hear the idiotic chatter of fellow members. When I have to work with them I just wear a armored diving suit, I can't hear a damn word they say while I have my dome on. Sure I'm supposed to be a team player but my teammates just get in the
way of my job; killing." - Deep six

"I don't care what race you are, what religion you follow or your god damn political views, I'm going to fucking hate you. Don't take it personal it's not anything against you, you're just a person and I hate you by nature. So no I'm not a damn racist, some pusher of an opposite religion or opposing your political views, I hate every the same."
Deep six in response to Roadblock calling him a "hatin' honky" before punching Roadblock out.

It may already be too late

So once a year, starting in August, store begin to roll out their holiday decoration and products. I could careless in general, I don't think I even walked down one Christmas aisle this year. But there is one thing this time brings, the most amazing thing ever.



















Candy cane joe joe's....the most amazing lard injected food product ever. Now you may think the idea is odd or gross. But in truth they're amazing. The pieces of candy that are jammed in to each cookie are more akin to those hard peppermint candies than cany canes. Trader Joes might still have some...my one box is almost gone. I need to make a run soon and see if I can score some more before the cold wind of winter blows all them away to be packed away until next Christmas.

Ugh, sleep where art thou?

It's common knowledge among friends and family that I have problems sleeping. Ever since I graduated from high school almost five years ago it's hard for me to get to sleep before the sun comes up. On top of that I work as a teacher's assistant at a kindergarten....those kids drain the shit out of me. Last night I got three hours of sleep...three whole hours and today was my first day back to work in two weeks. I couldn't clear my mind. Thoughts just danced and pranced around...and those thoughts were about fucking gi joe figures. My thoughts weren't stressful, hectic or anger ridden like they often are. I set up all of my 25th anniversary joes last night and counted them. I realized that as of now I'm only missing four to have one of every joe that's out, Doc, Alpine, Leatherneck, and Cutter. First I layed in bed and wondered when the hell my Doc would be coming in the damn mail. Seriously fuck you hasbro making me lose sleeping wondering when I'll get my precious medic in the mail. Then I started thinking about Alpine and how the dvd set he comes with is super sick and I want that cobra paratrooper and that sweet cobra commander but alas I don't get paid until the 15th! Since I work a college campus job I get paid once a month. Then Leatherneck, how at first I didn't care about him and now the more I see him and think about the figure I want him....I have to drop $15 and get another AWE to get him...but he'll be worth it when I get him...I know it...in the deepest darkest part of my heart. Then finally that balls Cutter figure...fuck hasbro for that poor attempt. Back during the JvC days they released Cutter as Shipwreck, you look at the figure, he had red hair and a goatee and he came with a boat! There were even filecard samples for the figure form Asia that said Cutter! Balls to you hasbro and screwing Cutter over, I'll make my own fucking figure thank you very much.
After I contemplated those last figures I started thinking about the upcoming Nightforce Lt. Falcon figure. Man Hasbro could do some cool stuff with this figure. Use Dusty's torso, waist coast belt thingie and upper legs, lower legs from Falcon, give him flint arms and just paint the head a bit better and finish him up with the comic pack gear. They'd have a winner on their hands! If they don't those fuckers will force me to do a custom and I don't have the motivation for those anymore.
God my life has become a wreck...I stay up late thinking about plastic army men and then rant about it in a blog. I hope something new and exciting happens in my life...like finding the tunnelrat comic pack this week...i'd pee my pants even if the figures are poopoo doodoo shits.

I have you now

Internetz?