Game Face!

I tell ya, this week is a real keeper:

And before you snicker, NO it's not about a hooker with a heart of gold who is forced to go to medical school after a crippling vaginal injury. This is simply an innocent game of health care management which HAPPENS to star a hooker.

SPOILER ALERT: She also happens to suffer from a crippling vaginal injury.

You guide your sweet little nurse character from hospital to hospital, plying your trade of medicine. You have a range of magic spells from Cure Light Wounds to Delouse which you need to use in the right combination, or your patient will turn into an exploding skeleton.

SPOILER ALERT: Each copy of the game has a specific character that, when killed, will become the Exploding Lich. This unlocks super nightmare mode where all the patients are razorblades, and all your spells are replaced with ear-piercing screams.

Not only do you act as the hospital's primary caster, but the nurse/hooker is also expected to buy pretty much every goddamn thing a hospital could ever need. Here I am buying water coolers which, as any doctors out there well know, are used to cure Scurvy.

SPOILER ALERT: When you place a Water Cooler directly next to a Dialysis Machine, you get a special ending where the hospital burns down due to an electrical fire.

I'd say this game's biggest flaw is the lack of nudity.

Yeah.

SPOILER ALERT: For a game about a hospital, there's a disturbing lack of backless gowns.

Overall, I'd say that Hospital Hustle does a good job of presenting the all-too-common situation of a hooker working in a hospital because her vagina is broken. It's a universal concept that pretty much all of us can relate to. Definitely a solid B

Well... maybe a B+

SPOILER ALERT: Hellooooooo Nurse!