Saturday, January 3, 2009

Google Gearch Gaturday Golume 4, Vigilante week

It's that time again, yes Saturday, where we all sleep in until past noon and then curse our selves for not being up before noon to make out binge drinking sound that much more extreme. This week we even have a theme, the guys who would kick our asses or kill us for all of the crime commit during the binge drinking: Vigilantes.

First up is my choice, Frank "The Castle" Punisher




















I'm pretty sure after this photo was taken this guy hung himself knowing that this was the pinnacle of his modeling career.

Ben Stiller IS the Punisher, this summer.

Actually this guy looks kind of looks like that Ryan Reynolds guy, you know, Van Wilder and the Deadpool.

I'm pretty sure this is the main character from Turkish Punisher. Or... maybe even Turkish Deadpool

That's a pretty good costume for a Turkish bootleg movie. But it's still not good enough to try and wear seriously. My question is who's idea is it to decide what is an awesome pose for a costume? I mean, if I was there in the studio while the photo was being taken I'd laugh so hard listening to that guy "Good, good, now look more ang
ry, your family was just killed, gooood, awesome, now more gay"

My major question is, are those supposed to be muscles there? I mean, clearly they were going for something approximating human musculature on the chestal region... but those arms? It looks like he's a tough guy, carrying a carton of cigarettes rolled in each sleeve.

It kind of looks like cauliflower or tumors to me.

Oh no... what if they aren't part of the costume? Maybe we're sitting here, ragging on some dude with cancer...Cancer and a shitty beard. Seriously, is that make up or something? It looks like somebody threw glue and sand in his face.

From cancer to sandface, I love it. I feel no remorse if this guy has cancer he knew what he was doing when he donned this costume. I think it's just a model beard. Funny thing is, Frank Castle should not look like a fucking model. If the Punisher looked like this guy he would have been laughed off the block by even the gayest Marvel hero.

You know it's a bad day when Cyclops laughs at you.

Shane picked, "Oh my family is dead and I dress up like a bat now"
















You know, I have to admit it. The first thing I thought of when I saw this image was "Look at this guy, he's totally undressing me with is eyes!"

I first thought that it was a kick ass name, but then I came back to reality and realized I'd kick my own ass if that was my name. I have no idea how real this is but if it's real it's almost as ridiculous as some real ass soldier changing his name to Optimus "Don't make fun of me I'm a soldier now" Prime.

Wait, is that a true story?

Yeah

I'm... I'm pretty sure that because of that one guy...the terrorists have won.

The terrorist won before this war even started. But we can save our asses by hiring Batman Bin Suparman, the smarts of batman and brawl of superman and the charisma of a singapore man, how could we lose the war with that on our side?

The only obstacle is citizenship... how could we ever win over such a man to fight for America? I say we head over there with a burlap sack, and some fan mail as bait.

I don't think a burlap sack could contain this man. He would out smart us with his wily forked tongue and then laser sight us in the balls.

Shit...

The thought of a man being able to trick anyone in to wanting a one way trip to the sun freaks me out. I mean someone with that much smarts and charisma could make you want to eat shit out of your ass. Then imagine him having the power to strong arming you in to anything he couldn't trick you in to doing. That scares the hell out of me, I just hope he never leaves his homeland of Javaton.

Yeah, I hate to say it but I'm drawing a total blank here.

Write about eating shit, that's funny.

What scares me even more is the thought that maybe it's not just him that can do it. What if everyone from Javaland was able to do that stuff? The entire world would be constantly eating nothing but shit. Forever!

5 comments:

Jaysun said...

epic epic epic funy, guys.

I'm your biggest fan.

quite literally, btw.

Heart Burn said...

Hugs and Kisses, Jaysun

:D

Spookyboots said...

I'm glad we have a biggest fan, be it literally or not, having fans is something new to me, haha.
Thanks, much Jaysun.

Future Negro said...

that was great

THE KRAKEN said...

I'm your coolest fan.

Well, I'm not really a fan.

I'm just the coolest.