Top 5 of 08...sort of

So it's that time of year again...

Time to decapitate 2008, and create 2009 in some sort of Frankenstein Lab.

Close, a celebration that winter seasonal depression is half way over. But I suppose more normal people are doing what you suggested.

Hell yeah, burn the established year to the ground!!! Down with the system! Up with the new order! Or... wait, did you mean the new year thing?

Yeah...uh...we decided we would start a new tradition and write a small list of things we think were great in the year of 08

That's right, I remember now. We take this time to look back on the joys of last year, and try to hide the bad parts deep in the darkest parts of our souls.

I have many many secrets hidden in the darkest bowels of my soul...but that aside lets get this shit kicked out.

Starting with Five (because we can do that, it's our Blog) is "Holy Shit, Black President"



















Yeah that was good I suppose, I mean I voted for the guy, but after the soul crushing events of the first election I ever voted in I pretty much gave up all hope.

The man was so popular he only lost my backwater hick county by, like, Thirty-some votes!

I'm actually surprised it was so few...with the area that lie in your county I figured it would have been a landslide loss.

I know, right?

Speaking of black heroes, I know one that's grabbin peels.


















I know of the same man you speak of. Number four on our count is a game we play called "Left 4 Dead"

It may have lost it's flair over the past couple of weeks, but knowing Valve they'll surprise us with something nice and fire our interests back up.

I like the game just fine for the moment, I just hate some of the people. Seriously, how did these people get out of the CS servers? We built those to hold them in, damnit! That and Xbox live.

Well, the xbox live society has their own version of the game that will never get any extra content. But the server capacities are so small we can be assholes and elitists and only let in our closest friends, a very nice feature of the game.

So true, also one of it's downfalls. I don't know about some of you antisocial misanthropes out there, but I have more than 7 friends.
I have 8

Exactly, and then where does that leave that poor odd-man out?
It's usually me, but that's ok I hear awesome stories about the game.

*cue violin music*

No really I don't mind because I'm number 3 on the awesome list of 08










Really? What have you done this year that's so great?

I discovered Sasquatch, save a village of werewolves, drew a t-rex skate boarding with a blunt in his mouth and built a rocket ship

...Yeah... but...where'd your rocket ship GO, smart guy?

I flew it in to the Vatican space ship that was attacking the werewolf village, duh, idiot

God! That's so fucking sweet!! You need to get those photos developed.

I did, fucking Target ruined them, I'm suing them for the entire business.

Aw damn. Well, I know a good lawyer. The number two thing on our list: Me, motherfucker.














Yeah? What did you do that topped what I did?

I quested for the unknown, delved into infinity and punched out the greatest questions plaguing man.

What questions were those? The stereotypical where's the G spot?

Child's play! Everyone knows the G-spot is lost forever on the dark side of the moon.

Oh...yeah I knew that...

Perhaps my greatest accomplishment was learning how to stop time. Sadly, I only know how to stop everything, so I stop too. There, I just did it. I did it again.

Huh, I didn't even feel it...

Yeah, neither did I.

But what I did feel was the number 1 of awesome things. I felt myself...but not you, but we're both the number 1 awesome thing of 08.

That's right! What could be better than taking the #3 and #2 things and cramming them together? Not... uh... literally though.

Nothing, aside from doing all of the things we mentioned we also looked death square in the eyes and kicked him right in the nuts and said "Fuck you, I'm staying alive asshole"

And Death, if want a re-match... you know where to find us.

In your backyard, in that tent because we sure as hell aren't paying rent.

You know what? Fuck Death, and fuck 2008, I'm done with it.

And fuck 09, I'm stoked for 2012.

Happy New Years from the knuckle fucks of The Heart and Spooky Laff and a bullshit.

should be in bed have to get up in less than three hours

but another music video, why the fuck not?

It may already be too late

So once a year, starting in August, store begin to roll out their holiday decoration and products. I could careless in general, I don't think I even walked down one Christmas aisle this year. But there is one thing this time brings, the most amazing thing ever.



















Candy cane joe joe's....the most amazing lard injected food product ever. Now you may think the idea is odd or gross. But in truth they're amazing. The pieces of candy that are jammed in to each cookie are more akin to those hard peppermint candies than cany canes. Trader Joes might still have some...my one box is almost gone. I need to make a run soon and see if I can score some more before the cold wind of winter blows all them away to be packed away until next Christmas.

Google Gearch... Guesday?

So, here we are again, Christmas hangover just ending... New Year's revelry about to begin. What better time than to ruin something we love by typing it into Google? I'll tell you... none. None better a time than now, dear reader.

Kicking things off this "Satarday" is my entry DnD:

Ah yes... I remember this move. Martin Lawrence gets transported back in time and has to nail broads to save history. A true classic.

I think you've got that mixed up with Black Knight...which you still need to return my VHS copy of. I remember THIS movie though, I was a freshman in high school, a doe eye'd roleplayer, I had just started playing after the release of 3rd edition. My family was also stealing pay per view at the time so I was able to view this classic for free.

Wait... I think I did see this move...

...oh God...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Yeah that was the reaction I was expecting...because Black Knight would never demand that heart wrenching of a reply. I don't remember this movie that well, there are three things aside from the Marlon's brother. The semi-hot elf, the retarded looking dwarf and the main bad guy who I swore was Doc Brown from back to the future.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

No, really I thought It was Doc Brown...

NOOOOOOOOOOO- wait. Is that the Mummy up there? On the right?

No, thank god, because the mummy is also going to be Zartan in the new Gi Joe movie....that movie already has more kicks to the nuts than the practice guy in womens self defence classes. Little known fact that guy you mention was in the sci fi original sequel

Ok, now I DEFINITELY remember seeing that one. As I recall, it was a whole hell of a lot better. That Barbarian Chick? Hell yeah. She can rage my berserker any day of the week.

That made no sense, but yeah she could power attack my rod whenever she wanted.

I think what we're all saying here is that she can Handle any Animal she pleases.

As long as it's my cock

But, since it's a movie about DnD, she was probably being played by an overweight 40 year old man.

What DnD group have you been playing with? We don't know any overweight 40 year olds that exclusively play female characters. Have you been "roleplaying" in chat rooms again?

That's between me and my 12th level halfling Tantric Raider.

Let me know next time you play I'll roll up a character.

Next up, Kurt's long-time love: GI Joe!

Honestly, I don't know what to say...this image is just weird and disturbing. I thought fans of the 3 3/4 th Joes were bad enough...but look at this shit...I'm glad I don't play with dolls. I'd probably mutilate small animals too.

"Caught this one in the Green Zone, looked like he was burying land mines."

I wish it hadn't been caught so maybe these DOLLS and their man owner would step on them. You know I'd like to think that when this guy showed his friends this image they stopped talking to him, when in reality I know they high fived him and asked him where he got the guy on the left.

Take heart, man, he probably doesn't have any friends.

His dolls are probably his only friends. See I play with action figures, not dolls, notice the word action, because they kick ass.

See, now that's where I disagree with you. I don't think his Dolls even like him. He did pose them over a DEAD SQUIRREL after all...

But at least they got to be outside...most of his pictures are taken in a dark damp basement...and most of the time him and his dolls are naked.

True, as bad as that squirrel might be, it's nothing compared with the *ahem* Cobra they have to face nearly every day.

Alright, I'm not going any farther than that...I don't even want to imagine where it'll go next. Any last words before I punt you from the living for that comment?

Only that I hope that, like me, this guy gets what he deserves one day.

Oh he will, those squirels will have their vengence and I hope on that day someone happens to be there with a video camera.

Finally, just to clense our collective pallates, the hot elf chick from the Dungeons and Dragons movie:

Delightful.

The Shit List

Guess what Hasbro...

YOU'RE ON IT!

As far as modern punk goes this is one of the few gems I think

Gaslight anthem and apparently they're getting a following....weird. I mean they're good musicians but they're one of those more popular than you think cases.

Ugh, sleep where art thou?

It's common knowledge among friends and family that I have problems sleeping. Ever since I graduated from high school almost five years ago it's hard for me to get to sleep before the sun comes up. On top of that I work as a teacher's assistant at a kindergarten....those kids drain the shit out of me. Last night I got three hours of sleep...three whole hours and today was my first day back to work in two weeks. I couldn't clear my mind. Thoughts just danced and pranced around...and those thoughts were about fucking gi joe figures. My thoughts weren't stressful, hectic or anger ridden like they often are. I set up all of my 25th anniversary joes last night and counted them. I realized that as of now I'm only missing four to have one of every joe that's out, Doc, Alpine, Leatherneck, and Cutter. First I layed in bed and wondered when the hell my Doc would be coming in the damn mail. Seriously fuck you hasbro making me lose sleeping wondering when I'll get my precious medic in the mail. Then I started thinking about Alpine and how the dvd set he comes with is super sick and I want that cobra paratrooper and that sweet cobra commander but alas I don't get paid until the 15th! Since I work a college campus job I get paid once a month. Then Leatherneck, how at first I didn't care about him and now the more I see him and think about the figure I want him....I have to drop $15 and get another AWE to get him...but he'll be worth it when I get him...I know it...in the deepest darkest part of my heart. Then finally that balls Cutter figure...fuck hasbro for that poor attempt. Back during the JvC days they released Cutter as Shipwreck, you look at the figure, he had red hair and a goatee and he came with a boat! There were even filecard samples for the figure form Asia that said Cutter! Balls to you hasbro and screwing Cutter over, I'll make my own fucking figure thank you very much.
After I contemplated those last figures I started thinking about the upcoming Nightforce Lt. Falcon figure. Man Hasbro could do some cool stuff with this figure. Use Dusty's torso, waist coast belt thingie and upper legs, lower legs from Falcon, give him flint arms and just paint the head a bit better and finish him up with the comic pack gear. They'd have a winner on their hands! If they don't those fuckers will force me to do a custom and I don't have the motivation for those anymore.
God my life has become a wreck...I stay up late thinking about plastic army men and then rant about it in a blog. I hope something new and exciting happens in my life...like finding the tunnelrat comic pack this week...i'd pee my pants even if the figures are poopoo doodoo shits.

It's that time again! GOOGLE GEARCH GATURDAYZ GOLUME 2!

The day you're all been waiting for is here, it's Google search day. From now on I (Spooky/Kurtis) will be represented by a beautiful shade of green and Shane a balls shade of blue. This week I have I will be starting off the festivities. My word this week is BEER!




















This man right here is what every drunk frat boy aspires to be, a screaming, pile of man muscle that uses his 15 strength to brutalize women and rape them, just like Conan.

Too bad for them, Conan only drinks Pabst. I think he'd probably get high and punch this guy out.

Conan is too manly for Pabst, you know how I know? I'm a manly mother fucker and I refuse to drink that shit. I also refuse to drink the balls juice this guy apparently became deliriously drunk on.

I can imagine that he came up with a lengthy back story. He seems like a closet role-player who was kicked out of his group in high school, and was forced to take solace in the gym

He was kicked out because he couldn't help but put other members of his group in a headlock, threaten to make them suck his dick or give them wedgies. I'd kick him out of my group too, but after I gave him a wedgie and made him suck my dick as he was in a headlock.

Sorta looks like he's ready for that too. I think he's coming for you, man. Better get your Miller High Life armor ready

No, I wear the armor of my people, +2 prone to alcoholism armor of Bud, I wield a +1 dagger of broken high life bottle. Thank you very much.

I wouldn't know, as I am master of only Hard Lemonade-jitsu. I studied under the great Mike. The idea is to make your opponent laugh long enough for you to call the cops.


The laughing comes from seeing what you're drinking while they're wearing their manly beer armor. Any last words before I shiv you with my +1 dagger?

Yeah. Open the door, it's the cops.

Balls....all I have to say is that I know some day I'll wake up one Sunday morning and I'll be wearing a soiled set of beer box armor, my cheeks covered in dry tears. That will be the day I vow to never stop drinking....

I'm pretty sure that's how this guy woke up the next morning. Only, his ass hurt.


Picture 2: This week Shane has chosen one of his favorite boyhood pastimes, hell one of his favorite pastimes that doesn't involve playing with his dingy. Lego.





















You know, I never thought I'd see the day... but here it is. Lego is now pretentious.

I feel it's a little racist too, I mean, is the artist trying to say that every Chinese man wishes on the in side he could make a high quality bootleg of Lego??

Sometimes I wish that...Have you seen the prices lately? 40 bucks for a pirate ship? No thank you, sir.

I'd gladly pay that...if it came with real pirates and you could sail it in international waters...you'd make your 40 back in a mater of months.

I wish that Lego stuff was real. Then I'd have all the fucking space ships I'd ever want. Watch out, fuckers, I gots me an ARMADA!

I once had a dream of having a armada of spaceships, I realized it was dumb. I decided engineering a race of super warriors that could breath underwater was more plausible.

Yeah, but then you'd have to deal with Aquaman in his own element. That's why he seems so weak, you never see him in the water. But once he gets wet, look the fuck out!

Aquaman is one man, my army is many men. I know you'll say "Oh he has sea creatures and seamen" I know, I know, but I'll dump oil in the ocean and I'll win the world. No joke.

Ha, try that shit and then you got Captain Planet on your ass. You think Aquaman is bad at least he wont make you grab your ankles.

Haha, idiot, Captain Planet is a failed cartoon character not a real hero.He never really existed.

Well then who am I thinking of? Sgt. Slaughter? Must be Slaughter...

Probably, I know how he whips the gi joes in shape and it's a nightmare inducing shudder fest.

I remember when Sgt. Slaughter had to invent a robot of himself that was 80 stories tall so he could wrestle an irradiated Rowdy Roddy Piper over the skyline of Chicago. Piper went to kick Sarge in the jewels, and came up empty. Because robots don't have jewels. Then Slaughter ended it with a turbo suplex, that landed on Batman's parents. To this day, Batman always crys when he sees a guy in Aviator shades.

That day will always go down as the greatest event in American, hell the worlds, history. We now celebrate presidents day and valentines day because of that event. Every year I make sure to carve the ceremonial ghost to look like the face of the Piper. Every damn year...

Tune in next week for another pulse pounding and heart stopping installment!

Monmouth is an oasis.....sort of

So Sara (my girlfriend) and I came down to Monmouth, OR to visit and stay with some friends, including my blog mate Shane. Monday it was snowing pretty hard but it didn't stop our trek. We decided we were going to head back to Vancouver, WA today and apparently all of Oregon and south west Washington looks like this.














We got in to Salem and it was a hellish winter land while Monmouth is snowless for the most part and raining, much like the North West is for most of the year. So when we left we thought it would be ok to head home....we're stranded fighting off Wampas, Imperials and Imperial Wampas who wield E-web cannons one handed.

Phuck photoshop phridayz, it's google gearch gaturdayz golume 1

To compete with the ever popular something awful weekly article Photoshop Phridays, we here at Laff and a Haff have decided to start our own weekly article. We both look up something we like in google image search and find what best describes that topic.

First we have Shane's/Heartburn's pick comics














4:49 AM - [PALS] Heart Burn: SO, if you had to (and Im gonna say you do) how would you describe what we're seeing in one word?
4:49 AM - [PALS] Heart Burn: I would say... Unsettling
4:49 AM - [PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: I'd say sodomy
4:50 AM - [PALS] Heart Burn: Judging by the first panel, you might not be far off
4:50 AM - [PALS] Heart Burn: what the hell is that Troll doing?
4:50 AM - [PALS] Heart Burn: Or... what did he just get done doing?
4:51 AM - [PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: I dunno, PKing? I would guess it means player killing, but that's stupid...I imagine it being penis kissing or something more homoerotic WoW players would shun in game but then invite their friends over to do
4:51 AM - [PALS] Heart Burn: I dont know, I've never played WoW
4:51 AM - [PALS] Heart Burn: I only play cool games, like Dungeons and Dragons Online: Stormreach
4:53 AM - [PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: Where peoepl don't quote chuck norris every five minutes
4:53 AM - [PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: sorry had to cut that thought back
4:53 AM - [PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: My favorite part is the word Bullshit
4:53 AM - [PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: he's saying it to a bull
4:54 AM - [PALS] Heart Burn: My favorite part are the Orc warrior's ceremonial hot-pants
4:54 AM - [PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: The only thing I think is missing is a 12 year old alliance figuring out ways to get around the language filter, like dix and puzzie
4:55 AM - [PALS] Heart Burn: Ok, final tally
4:55 AM - [PALS] Heart Burn: Japanese?
4:55 AM - [PALS] Heart Burn: Yes or no.
4:55 AM - [PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: Hai Amerikan-san
4:55 AM - [PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: the creatures of another land shoot characters out of them from another land
4:56 AM - [PALS] Heart Burn: Im still waiting for the upskirt.

Second, My pick (Kurtis/Spooky's) , Punk



















5:01 AM - [PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: When one thinks of punk, what do they think? 1977? The sex pistols? Ramones? Safety pins? Shitty people? If they think the last one I think they're correct
5:01 AM - [PALS] Heart Burn: Hell, when I think "Sex Pistols" I cant help but think "Shitty People"
5:02 AM - [PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: I know after I said that I realized they were on in the same, but thankfully we don't have to deal with them much anymore, you know with the more obnoxious one being dead. But what we do have to deal with is this Disney pop princess
5:02 AM - [PALS] Heart Burn: Some Disney princess, I don't see a crown
5:03 AM - [PALS] Heart Burn: or thousands upon thousands of poorly drawn pornographic images.
5:04 AM - [PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: Punx don't wear crowns! that's a sign of the queen and god save her, poser. Also that reference is creepy stop looking at disney prons.
5:04 AM - [PALS] Heart Burn: Sorry, I wasn't paying attention, I was too busy looking at disney pronz
5:04 AM - [PALS] Heart Burn: Who the hell is Hillary Puff?
5:05 AM - [PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: You know I don't know anything about her other than her name is Hilary DUFF, she was on Disney and when I was in high school my friend said "For a blond chick that Hilary Duff is kind of hot" I had to ask him who the fuck she was. Was she in that show with Shila La "I'm a shitty actor" Bouf?
5:06 AM - [PALS] Heart Burn: Wasn't he a transformer?
5:06 AM - [PALS] Heart Burn: Fumblor?
5:06 AM - [PALS] Heart Burn: He transformed into a broken microwave or something...
5:06 AM - [PALS] Heart Burn: maybe I dreamed that.
5:07 AM - [PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: You're close
5:07 AM - [PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: He was Fagatron, he was a shitty actor that turned in to a shitty dildo
5:08 AM - [PALS] Heart Burn: Well, I do have one positive thing to say about this image.
5:08 AM - [PALS] Heart Burn: It's closer to an up skirt than the last one
5:08 AM - [PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: She's also closer to a 12 year old playing alliance than is legally comfortable for both of us in this image
5:09 AM - [PALS] Heart Burn: Look, I'm not saying it's an upskirt I'm dying to see
5:09 AM - [PALS] Heart Burn: I'm just saying it's closer than an orc in hotpants.
5:09 AM - [PALS] Heart Burn: Wait... this is a girl?
5:09 AM - [PALS] Heart Burn: I thought it was a dude with long hair and a kilt.
5:10 AM - [PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: No wonder you mentioned an upskirt shot
5:10 AM - [PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: Verdict of images:
5:11 AM - [PALS] Heart Burn: Both disappointing and heartbreaking
5:11 AM - [PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: I hate the internet and want to headbutt my own groin
5:11 AM - [PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: Tune in next week for more of your favorite images

Some sick fuck commisioned this piece of shit work

Late night vampire post...also vampires suck

I think i'm going to start a comic

[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: i'm a super genie
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: ous
[PALS] Heart Burn: Im a super Genie
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: thats'w hat I said
[PALS] Heart Burn: it's like a super sayan
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: sayian*
[PALS] Heart Burn: but I gran 6 wishes
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: I grant 69 sexual wishes
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: but only if you're a woman
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: and they're all with me
[PALS] Heart Burn: That's pretty ambigous
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: if you're a dood
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: GTFO
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: that's internet lingo for
[PALS] Heart Burn: Do you grant a total of 69 sexually related wishes?
[PALS] Heart Burn: Or do you only grant wishes that have to do with the 69 pstion>
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: Grand Transexual Fucking Oraphisus
[PALS] Heart Burn: Grapes Taste Fucking OWSOME!
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: 69 sexually related wishes
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: that I grant
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: with the woman that rubs me weiner
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: it's not even a lamp
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: it's just my weiner
[PALS] Heart Burn: Does purple smoke come out?
[PALS] Heart Burn: At least?
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: sure what ever the hell I want to come out
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: some time yellow mist
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: other times snow
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: but yes
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: purple smoke
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: and deep purple plays too
[PALS] Heart Burn: Oh yeah
[PALS] Heart Burn: that was actually the first wish I ever granted
[PALS] Heart Burn: "I wish that Deep Purple was a band"
[PALS] Heart Burn: and I knew exactly what that guy meant
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: yeah I like them
[PALS] Heart Burn: that guy was Frank Senatra
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: but I woudl have wished for like
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: a band taht was all sasquaqui that played instruments made of human bones
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: ZZ top is kind of like that
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: but it sounds worse
[PALS] Heart Burn: You'd better watch what you say about ZZ Top.
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: fuck you
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: ZZ top
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: more liek ZZ dicktop
[PALS] Heart Burn: More like ZZ Topofyourfacewithawellplacedkaratekick
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: they're too fucking old
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: they couldn't do that shit
[PALS] Heart Burn: You dont understand, Kurt
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: yes I do
[PALS] Heart Burn: ZZ Top was the governments first attempts at Rock and Roll Robots.
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: their gimick was facial hari but it was dirty as hell facial hair
[PALS] Heart Burn: They went rouge back in '74
[PALS] Heart Burn: They teamed up with the ghost of Elvis to create the greatest beard of all time
[PALS] Heart Burn: and hid it in a mayan ruin.
[PALS] Heart Burn: The wrote a song about their adventure called "La Grange"
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: when you said rogue
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: i blanked out
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: and thought of one thing
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: you know what?
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWlKUJRNTeE
[PALS] Heart Burn: THat's because I can't spell.
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: oh I even read it as rogue
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: so you're safe
[PALS] Heart Burn: But... for how long?

Turns out I wasn't Kidding.

[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: I finally showed Sara a picture of mary anne
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: I mentioned to her what A was saying and she said she wanted to see a picture of her
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: she said she doesn't look as crazy as she thought she would
[PALS] Heart Burn: lol
[PALS] Heart Burn: most people wear it pretty well
[PALS] Heart Burn: that's how they get jobs.
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: and she said the picture that she was of Heather was cute
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: she said she likes to know what people look like when she imagines them doing crazy things
[PALS] Heart Burn: Really...?
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: yeah
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: I kind of avoided showing her pictures
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: haha
[PALS] Heart Burn: https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuUd05TCIjipxSytjdGrBxwvqxxAM_ZpjugJQSzOuVIIqU31KfpB1Y2FMqoMvd3kRNpiIG5nudLNQV8zGjLCW-b_zLvLFzqLqdnFfhYd5Kd0g6hmnv1F3XjNzxEndo7RPB2V3Qb-zono4/s220-h/Meavatar.JPG
[PALS] Heart Burn: "This is my face as I piss on your lawn"
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: haha[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: that's my face when I piss on my own lawn
[PALS] Heart Burn: https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjiRFV4LxGDLQsjS0xEHIkCyenU3O7nTCoRxS2-isCIlPibNaFFI9t4_T9m-oPxOElUySIhHjb5xpg_AgVZlVKfuuP1NiEkRYtKfFcK92WKjNv9HzaABe3oZZBL_W40pJTW5devmMgoZN5/s1600-h/toobad.JPG
[PALS] Heart Burn: I thought that was
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: if i'm drunk
[PALS] Heart Burn: Im pretty much that happy to piss wherever.
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: usually i'm forcing the shit out of my dick
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: but the shit is really piss
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: and i'm forcing the piss
[PALS] Heart Burn: Gross.
[PALS] Heart Burn: Im posting this on the blog.
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: that's fine
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: it's a goldmine
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: of shit
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: so a shitmine
[PALS] Heart Burn: I'm actually kidding.

Below the Belt

I have you now

See and Raise

Internetz?

Secret Tf2 Achievements Revealed!

http://teamfortress2.fr/achievements.php
Man, I love this tool. Sure, yeah, it's over 300 in internet years, but I dont give a shit. Here are some friuts of my labor.

Click to see the whole thing because I'm too stupid/lazy to reformat them:

And my personal favorite:

Hey, what do you expect? Good posts? Nobody's paying me.

It's Science

At a certain point one simply becomes too old.

Fuck blogging

Blogging is for whiny weiners that have no one to bitch to or have jokes that no body else gets.
Hello blogging world...be gentle I'm tender.

A bit of this, a bit of that

[PALS] Heart Burn: BUH!?
[PALS] THE KRAKEN: NO
[PALS] THE KRAKEN: FUCK YOU
[PALS] Heart Burn: Yes
[PALS] Heart Burn: http://burnboot.blogspot.com/
[PALS] THE KRAKEN: oh SNAP
[PALS] Heart Burn: You want in on this shit?
[PALS] THE KRAKEN: What is this shit, exactly?
[PALS] Heart Burn: No idea
[PALS] Heart Burn: Kurt suggested we just stop fucking around and start a blog
[PALS] Heart Burn: that way things might actually start to happen.
[PALS] Heart Burn: We have lots of stupid ideas that make us laugh, but we never do anything with them. and this is easy.
[PALS] Heart Burn: Eeeeeeeeeeasy.
[PALS] THE KRAKEN: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mBDQXWflbM
[PALS] Heart Burn: FLAWLESS VICTORY

So you can stick them to the sides of the dildos

[PALS] Heart Burn: Tell him the more he does it, the more a sweet moustache will start to grow
[PALS] Heart Burn: Also, the way he feels right now is the way the Dreadnoks feel ALL THE TIME
[PALS] Heart Burn: Hence the crime.
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: you should
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: haha
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: it's your comment
[PALS] Heart Burn: Ok, what's my sweet handle?
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: I dunno
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: i'm off to work
[PALS] Heart Burn: I was thinking of naming myself after Shipwrecks little brother
[PALS] Heart Burn: SOS
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: haha
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: you know we shoudl just rip off the idea and finally blog buillshit, we always have ideas and they never go anywhere
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: except yours
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: that one on something awful
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: haha[PALS] Heart Burn: haha
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: and we coudl atleats post them
[PALS] Heart Burn: so true
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: everyone here is a blogger pretty much anyways
[PALS] Heart Burn: The Spooky and HeartBurn Laff and A Haff Fun Half-hour
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: haha
[PALS] Heart Burn: G-G-G-GAY
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: alright i'm off to work
[PALS] Heart Burn: ok, got to work
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: and that's why that works
[PALS] Heart Burn: I know!
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn: i'll talk to you later
[PALS] Laird Spooky Úlfhéðinn is now Offline.